Dear God, I would like to become a little child and rest my soul in you.

For the past 2 years or so I've been receiving a daily e-devotional from Dorothy Valcarcel's Transformation Garden. She decided to study the lives of each of the women in the bible, starting at Genesis. In my naivity I thought that wouldn't take too long. How delighted I was to discover how wrong I was! A few years into her project and Dorothy is currently on the life of Abigail in the book of 1 Samuel.

One thing I really like about this devotional are the quotes and prayers that Dorothy uses in each one. A prayer in today's devotional really touched my heart and summed up my heart's cry in words better than I could have come up with.

"Dear God,
I would like to become a little child and rest my soul in you.
I'm tired of the loneliness, tired of the struggle,
I want to surrender but I don't know how.
You see, I have this problem of being adult.
I belong to the generation which makes decisions, plans, works,
accepts responsibility, takes pride in being independent.
Adults are supposed to manage their lives.
They are concerned with owning things and
making things happen, and they don't like to look small or foolish.
Dear God, for a long time I've been living at the centre of a world
which has prevented me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven.

Father God, Mother God,
show me how to become your child.
I am aware of the advice that Jesus gives.
He does not say that we should remain in infancy.
He says that we should become as little children.
This tells me that I need to know the futility of independence before I can let go of it.
It is the letting go which is difficult.
I know you are there, waiting to give yourself to me, but I'm afraid to commit myself.
Please help me to loosen this grip on my pride
so that I can hold out my arms to you and be enfolded in your love."
Joy Cowley